 |
Which one's the bird of your dream? |
Earlier today a ridiculous picture crossed my Tumblr dash of a dating sim where you try to romance pigeons. I thought this was pretty hilarious and other people seemed to enjoy it so I hunted it down and downloaded it (It's probably going to be
the best $5 you'll spend in a while) and got to playing, about 7 hours later I finally had to call it quits, not because I wanted to, but because I would have just kept playing it all night!
First, let's set something clear! When you search around for places talking about it you get a lot of places featuring it because it's so weird (and don't get me wrong, it is totally weird) and it's usually followed by "WTF Japan?", but let's get serious for a second here in this conversation about pigeon dating, this isn't some sort of weird perverse game that was created to target some very specific fetish or something like that, it's a game that started as an April Fools joke a couple years ago that took on a life of it's own. It's not so much a dating sim as it is a parody of one that ends up very entertaining and even touching. There's no pixelated bird parts, and despite playing through 4 different routes, the closest I got to a pigeon falling in love with me was (Highlight the black bar for the spoiler)
helping one realize his true form of Lord Pudi. This isn't some rule 34 game, made only to fill some completely weird niche you never wanted to know existed, it's a surreal parody that ends up being more than just an extended gag.
 |
Cave sweet cave! |
The very basic back story behind Hatoful Boyfriend is that classic harem situation of a school full of datable anime characters, except instead of being the only girl in a school full of boys, or vice versa, you're the only human in a school for ultra intelligent pigeons. Welcome to Saint PigeoNation's Institute! Monkey jokes are frequently made at your expense, and you apparently live in a dank cave that the birds clearly find very uncivilized. However, you're bigger than the birds (although you somewhat frequently end up last place in both races and fights with some of the birds),capable of moving heavy objects, and are relatively spry enough to come in second place during a 3 legged race with a pigeon, so the birds find your presence to be pretty useful, and somehow not weird at all.
For those who need to be eased into the idea of a pigeon dating sim, there's actually an option at the beginning of the game to enable gijinka portraits for each of the characters (except Okosan, who is based on the creator's own pigeon, in his case you just get a cartoon version of a pigeon in a suit), so you can sort of imagine them as anime boys throughout the game. But don't think this is some way to totally avoid the fact you're trying to date pigeons and make the game something that it's not (you know, a
human dating game), because these portraits only pop up the very first time you meet a datable character, and the game repeatedly reminds you that you are, in fact, at a school for actual pigeons.